My Rant for the day. When did "the Golden Rule" die?

When did the "golden rule" become a thing of the past?  I am seriously concerned with how many people are "addicted" to technology, so addicted that they lose all sense of "common courtesy".  Case in point, you're having a conversation with someone and they begin reading and texting while you are speaking.... or their cell phone rings and you get the ever so annoying and rude "wait just a minute finger" pointing in your face, I can only assume this means "hold that thought while I take this much more important call, it's so much more important than you and your time".  Is this truly the world we belong to?  Are we all so busy and have so many "important" calls to take that we can't even put our phones down or finish a conversation before we "check to see who it is that is texting or calling?"  It scares me that we are breeding a very selfish society, who require "instant gratification" for what they consider important.  Forget about the others in our society who may just need a shoulder to cry on or a smile or a friendly exchange.  Forget about "doing unto others".  Let's all just keep going at the rate were going and see what kind of a world we leave for our Grandchildren.   Sad thought for me.  At the end of the day just ask yourself WWJD?   And I'm not even trying to be funny this time!  I'm disturbed and honestly more than just a little annoyed with this seemingly "acceptable" behavior.  There is no law that requires you to have these handheld devices, I refuse to use mine except for when I am away and my kids need to call for an emergency, no other reason, it is not my social life.  Technology is both a blessing and a curse and I'm leaning more on the "curse" side than blessing these days.  That's my rant!

Facebook post comment about Elder Packers Conference Talk.

So yesterday I posted this link on Facebook... ‎"The tactic is now all-too familiar: take a statement out of context, embellish it with selective interpretation, presume hostile intent, and then use the distortion to isolate an entire group, in this case a church." Quote from the Deseret News article found in this link... I couldn't have said it better. It was followed up with "We encourage all to read President Packer's talk rather than simply rely on the media interpretations and selective quotations." So I'm going to do just that read it and I hope you will too.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700072199/A-call-for-civility-following-Mormon-Apostle-Boyd-K-Packers-address.html?pg=2

I had seen so many negative posts from friends about this talk that I decided that this article really stated how I felt, "just read it for yourself and don't believe everything that others are saying".  Also I think we have to be very careful about how we speak of our leaders. 

I had a few comments and decided to post my reply here, as it turned out to be a novel...

I think at the end of the day we all do the best that we can when trying to be the best person that we are striving to be in this life, no matter what faith or non-faith you live by.  I was raised to love everyone.  My friendship circle would never exclude anyone!  In fact, having lived near San Francisco, LA and now NY, my friendship circle is very diverse.  I don't judge others for the way they choose to live.   I do  have my own beliefs as to how to raise my children and teach them as I believe God would want me to, that includes, loving everyone, but standing up for what I believe in no matter what the world would tell me to do.   As do most people, whatever their beliefs might be, and yes there are times when I may stand on one side of something and my friends are on another, but I haven't found that my friendships have been harmed by having my own beliefs.  I was very sad that this talk was was taken in such a negative way.  I love President Packer and in all honesty, if you read and believe in books of scripture, this wouldn't be the first time that the Lord has used one of his servants to speak so frankly.  I wonder if there are some who choose to listen to conference and pick out or find areas to criticize?  I don't think that I agree with the "we need to pick our words carefully," In fact I believe that once we start doing that we find ourselves going down a very Sticky slope of trying to be "part of the world".  I am so glad that we are each entitled to our own thoughts, opinions and beliefs, that is what makes our country so amazing.  I know that God loves all of his Children, and if you believe in the Bible you know that God isn't always pleased with the choices his children make, but that is his  plan, for us to choose.  I don't think it does anyone any good to criticize or embellish  anything or anyone, it ends up being negative all around.  Take it for what it is, if you don't believe this is a Man of God then don't let it bother you so much that he too has his own opinion.  I don't choose to criticize my friends of other faith's when they choose to believe or listen to their pastors or clergy.  We still get to choose for ourselves how we feel and act each day no matter what anyone else may tell us.  Thank you for those who have commented, I respect your thoughts and opinions as you do mine.

End of Comment...  New thought below

So I wonder how many have read the Bible or Book of Mormon?  If you believe it, then in my thought process, doesn't it just make sense for God to be open, honest and frank about what he expects of us?  I don't recall the Book of Mormon "re-wording" anything so that some might not take offense.  This world is becoming a very difficult world to live in, I remind myself that we just have to be careful and when we have questions, to seek the counsel from the Lord for the answers and not seek counsel of the "world" or our "friends", they can lead us astray even if they don't mean too, however, The Lord never will lead us astray.  It's a very personal journey we are in on in this life, but there are also things we have to stand up for in order to keep true to who the Lord has asked us to be.   I weep for those who can't find peace and have such discontent and anger in their lives.  I know that through the Gospel of Jesus Christ we can find peace and happiness, but that it isn't easy, we all of "sins" that leave us falling short every single day.  Again, the beauty of the Gospel, is knowing that Christ loves us and will, can and has made up the difference for our short comings through his Atonement.  I also know that some struggle more than others with certain lifestyle choices, or behaviors, we all have things we struggle with,  we (I) don't condemn anyone, we love all of our brothers and sisters, we stand up for what we believe God wants for his Children.  That is what we can do. None of us are perfect and if we can just remember to help and lift others, no matter what they struggle with, we love even if we don't agree with choices they make in life.  That' is what I believe Christ would do it.

Some good and bad of my life.

This week I realized I've reached a cross-road in my life.  I feel like somehow I've matured :)  I guess glancing back into my full SUV made me realize that apparently I grew up and somehow along with this came some maturity.  It's an odd feeling to come full circle, looking at photo's and realizing that I AM that parent of the High School kid.  It's taking some time to get used to this idea but I think it has finally settled well within me. 

I never imagined I would be the kind of person who would be able to give my friends and family advice.  But somehow in our own way we are all able to do this.  It's just odd to realize that people come to me for real life stuff, like how to raise their kids, or how to help them keep their standards or how to cook, clean or choose a doctor, it's just wonderful to know that I may be able to help and assist others with my years of knowledge and living.  I guess I have "grown up".  Bring on the white hair (because that's the color I choose for my old aging), White as snow please!

This week I ran into a bit of a conflict within my soul.  I was reading a Facebook post from a friend and just had that gut instinct that something wasn't right about it.  I just felt really sick for a moment and then sad, sad that somehow this world has turned into such a public display of our thoughts and feelings.  Sad that my kids are growing up in a fiercely competitive and negative world, where people are more concerned about how many "friends" They have on the number count in the world of technology that they forget that the best friends are those who you see in person each day, those who can read the emotions on your face when a keyboard can so easily hide the true you and frustrations.  I'm just overall sad that so many people use these technologies to "self promote" their negative or destructive ways of thinking.  I wish for a more simple life, back to the days when we all just talked to people face to face, instead of Screen to Screen. 

As I listened to General Conference last weekend, I was so glad to hear the words of a living apostle mention that these hand held devices, games and other technologies can be and are becoming addictions.  I've been saying this for years.  Our youth are honestly so out of touch, they live in a Cyber world and in my opinion it's going to be the downfall for many of them.  It's tragic to see the bullying, violence and even in the news, deaths associated with other's needs to be able to "show in a public place" others imperfections or to make fun of them.  I just pray everyday that my children will have the strength to resist the temptations they are faced with.  I pray for the Young Women that I serve over that they will know of their worth in a world that would teach them they aren't worth much.  It's a constant battle and I am in totally agreement with the statement "it takes a village to raise a child".  We need each other to help, support and uplift one another.  Criticizing and talking down about others will never lead you in the right direction.   True friends know and live by this.

First day of school!!

My day started at 5:45 as my alarm jolted me from a really restful sleep, something that is very rare for me to enjoy of late.  I realized that we really didn't need to be getting up until about 6:45 but I couldn't go back to sleep and decided to start my day.  It was odd to enjoy some quiet time with everyone still fast asleep.  Peaceful and quiet to start the day!  It didn't last very long as Liz was up and ready to be making mischief right away.  Hailey was all packed up and ready to be to her Orchestra class at 7:38, the others slowly followed and made it out of bed, dressed with backpacks in hand.  I gave in and drove Hailey as none of her friends have Orchestra before school... Then I darted off to the town grocery store because apparently in all of the 10 trips to the stores over the past month, Faith forgot to pick up a "combination locker lock".  Not a nice way to start her first day of High school!  So I came home without a lock as the kid that got there 10 steps before I did, took the last one in the store.  NICE.  I did manage once I returned home to find an old bike lock (with a key) to send her with today, rusty and all, she was excited about the lock called it "Fancy"... I was just relieved it didn't bring tears... She is so grown up my sweet High School girl.
I took Noah and Ammon to the bus Noah, was still antisocial at the bus stop, but sweet with his brother.  And then my Ammon, oh my little Ammon, right before we left he was crying.. "I want you to go with me, I don't want to go without you mom, I love you!" Yes, it ripped my heart right out but I didn't cave, no emotional outburst until after I returned home from putting him on the bus. And then I sent my Faith off to her first day of High School, she looked so grown up and beautiful that I just hugged and kissed her as much as I could... AH... an emotionally overwhelming day.  4 kids in school and me and Liz home, just the 2 of us... I don't know how I'm going to deal with not having a house full of rowdy, running, fighting, crying, teasing, sweet, lovely, amazing kids every day.... oh it is biter sweet.  I'll look forward to the next few weeks of just me and Liz and then I start to watch my dear friends sweet Joy in October.  Another new chapter!

New Calling

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed as I was just called to serve as our Young Women President.  15 months in the Primary Presidency, 15 months in the Relief Society Presidency have both helped to prepare me for this.  At least in part.  I am amazed as I look back over the past year and NOW realize the many moments and events in my life that were preparing me for this day.  I am nervous and excited and scared all in one.  I have to admit that I cried when the calling was first extended.  When asked about my emotional response, I really could only say that I was going to miss Relief Society and interacting each week with them.  But I think the bigger part of my emotions stems from knowing that this is a really sacred calling.  To help these Young Women prepare to make sacred temple covenants.  I am trying to put aside my own personal worries, mostly that I have 5 kids and a husband who works 15 hour (or longer) days.  This leaves me to get my oldest to seminary and now to plan, prepare and execute our activities as I don't have a counselor and may not for a while.  I know that if Heavenly Father feels that I am the right person for this, then I need to have enough Faith in myself that it will work out.  And that is just what I plan to do.

It was funny, I'd known for a week before I was sustained, I didn't tell my girls, I wanted to wait.  My older daughter Faith was shocked and upset (yes, the horror of having your own mother be the YW President is apparently very real)... although it did pass and I think we have come to a good understanding... she said "mom we need to lay down some ground rules"... I said "okay" she said.... "no embarrassing stories about me... NONE!".... I agreed.  My daughter Hailey turns 12 next month and will enter YW, she leaned over and said "Mom, I'm really excited and happy that you will be in YW when I come in next month" and then she gave me a hug.   Faith later hugged me but I think it has to be hard to have your parent as a leader so I'm going to try and balance it all... by the end of this I should apply to be in the circus as my "balancing skills" will surely be Super wicked!

My Baby is 14!

I think I'm in disbelief that tomorrow my oldest daughter is going to turn 14.  She just got back from Youth Conference so you would think that reality would have set in long ago that I have a kid who is going to start High School in 2 months.  But really until right now... I've been in denial.  How did this happen?  When did she grow up? 

Her first "dance" being asked by "cute boys".... I'm really going to have to figure out how I am going to get over this.

I'm sure there will be more to post after our "Birthday Eclipse" outing tomorrow night :)  he he he.

4 Addictions that destroy your dreams by: Tom Ferry

I found this article so fascinating... here is the link to the entire thing, the list below took me by surprise, yet rings a truthful tone.   
(For the ENTIRE ARTICLE: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-ferry/the-4-addictions-that-des_b_582556.html)
The Four Addictions

I've discovered four addictions we all have that destroy more dreams, more hopes and more lives than alcohol, drugs, food, gambling or sex combined. When I refer to addictions, I am not focused on any of these. To me, those are habitual symptoms or effects brought on by four much larger causes that are the root cause of those symptoms.
They are:
1) The Addiction to opinions of other people. As a society, we're addicted to what others think about us and how others' views of the world affect us.
2) The Addiction to drama. Some people are drawn to and consumed by any event or situation that occupies their thoughts and fills their mind with negativity, which often brings attention to them in unproductive ways.
3) The Addiction to the past. These people have an unhealthy attachment to events or situations that have occurred in the past. They're stuck in how things used to be.
4) The Addiction to worry. This addiction is comprised of all the negative and self-defeating thoughts that make us anxious, disturbed, upset and stressed, that hold us back in life.

Wait to pass judgement until you've walked in their shoes

I'm not really sure why lately I find myself telling myself and really almost everyone I talk to, "just remember you haven't walked in their shoes".  I guess it's mostly for me that I say this.  I say this because so many times in my life I find that I am judging, not intentionally, but nonetheless, judging others and what they "appear" to be doing wrong.  I guess my rant and angry post about bankruptcy fueled my need to write this. 

I try my best not to judge others, I really do.  I've lived in enough places in this country to see the good, the bad, the ugly, the hated, the misunderstood, the confused, the lonely, the liars, the mostly condemned, the addicted, the old and forgotten, the poor, the needy, the sick, the mentally sick, the physically sick, and the any other group you can imagine.  I really have a soft spot in my heart for those who try so hard to do what's right and still fall short, mostly because I feel like that really describes me.  I try so hard to do what I know is right, and yet I still come up short.  I try to be a good mother, wife, friend, neighbors, sister, aunt, volunteer, and every other hat I wear.  But somehow at the end of the week, I feel like I've left so much undone. 

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, one whom I thought I knew pretty well, when it dawned on me, I really truly didn't know much about her, at least not about her upbringing and life before I knew her a few years ago.  I was truly shocked by some of the stories she had to tell me from her life.  I guess I had "misjudged" her, not necessarily in a bad way but in a way that lead me to make some conclusions about who she was and "what she should be doing in life".  I found myself looking at this wonderful woman for the first time and realizing that along with the beautiful face, perfect nails, gorgeous hair came a damaged and broken package.  She had lived through some pretty awful life experiences, that are not mine to share but that left me weeping. 

I've been really honestly trying not to pass judgement on anyone.  I guess I have done this more than I realized, I would make an assumption about someone, for instance, if you grew up out West as I did, were a member of my faith and came to church.... I guess I just "assumed" certain things about you.  I assumed you knew how to keep the Sabbath day holy, how to serve, how to offer help, how to support those around you... I guess being so caught up in my "assuming" I forgot one important piece to this puzzle... that being "no 2 pieces are exactly alike"... shocking it isn't.  But a new found realization for me.  I guess if I think about my own life, my own family, no 2 of my siblings are "exactly" the same.  We grew up in the same home, with the same parents and yet we all have different versions of the same experiences to share.  At the end of the day, we all have different abilities to learn and grow, even in the same experiences. 

With that being said, I am still a FIRM believer in knowing "Right from Wrong" and that we need to be aware of those around us and try and make the world a better place.  I will do my best not to judge you.  I just ask that you do the same for me.  It's when we start point out each other's weaknesses that we all start to fall and fail in life.  We need to build each other up, not tear each other down.  And part of that is letting go of selfishness.  I guess that is where my previous post and anger came from.  I am really trying hard to not judge those who live selfish lives, lives that take a negative toll on everyone around them, and yet they don't see it.   I will try harder to be less judgemental.  At the end of the day I guess that's all we can do, just try our best.

A day in the life...

Morning starts at 6-6:30, Mikes in the shower, baby in her crib across the hall saying "da da da da".  Me sleepy eyed and trying to climb out of bed.  Once I'm up... it's like one thing after the next.
5 kids dressed, fed, lunches packed, homework checked, coats or jackets, shoes, take the garbage out on the way out the door to drive them to 2 different schools.  Home to greet any friends who might be coming to play, laundry, dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, bathrooms, more sweeping, more laundry, wash, dry, fold, carry up 2 flights of stairs to the bedrooms, make beds, pick up floors, change diaper, new clothes for messy baby, snack for kids, change another diaper, baby to bed, check e-mail, correspond with teachers, aides, church needs, friends, family.  Deep breath, sweep again, more dishes, more laundry (seriously all day long today), and it's only 10:30 am and I'm blogging it. 

And today is an "easy" day in the normal chaos driven home of ours. I wonder how the rest of this day will go?  I did stop to enjoy my sweet baby and see the joy in her eyes at discovering how to open the drawers and find new play items in the kitchen today. 

My sweet husband

I am so thankful for my sweet husband.  I have really been a handful lately and he is so sweet and so calm and always the voice of reason in my life.  I am so grateful for him.  I am so lucky to call him my eternal companion.  He is the best father and husband!  I am really going to try and do something special for him this Father's Day.  I've never known a man to be so honest and straightforward with his answers and thoughts.  I being a woman have a hard time with the straightforward part.  I am so worried about offending or hurting feelings that at times it's painful just to have a conversation because then I have to spend hours decoding and analyzing and reanalyzing and figuring out what was said or what was meant or why it was said or what they really wanted to say.  Men just don't do that.  It's simple, it's straightforward, it's easy.  I know I can always go to my hubby and he will help me with whatever the issue is I'm focusing on at that moment and he always surprises me with his wisdom and simple answers.  I totally get the need for a balance in a marriage between a woman and a man.  I am eternally grateful for that.   I'm glad I have a blog where I can vent when needed... prime example... my previous post.  Hopefully it didn't offend anyone or my husband is going to need to be around a lot more to walk me through my analyzing phase of a post conversation.  :)